I Feel My Savior's Love

With Easter being tomorrow I thought there is no better time to express my love and gratitude for my Savior and his atonement. I honestly don't know even want to think of how different my life would be if I didn't have a knowledge and testimony of our Savior's greatest gift and sacrifice for us. People are often surprised by my ability to roll with the punches and take whatever comes my way. I can't take credit for that though, the only reason I can do this is because I know without a doubt that I can take anything sent my way with the Lord on my side. He has a plan for us, each and every one of us. He loves us, he guides us, he is always always there for us.
A couple of weeks ago we found out that James has cancer again. At first we were very hopeful that surgery and possibly one round of chemotherapy would take care of it and we could move forward, but we just recently found out that his cancer is very aggressive and will require 4 cycles of chemotherapy. Hearing that news was far from easy of course but we know that there is a plan and this is part of it.
The other day a friend sent me this quote and it is one of my favorites! It perfectly expresses how I feel about these experiences.
“Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more (Prov 3:11–12). He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching" -Elder Richard G. Scott
We often consider the experiences in our lives as "tests", but these times of hardship are not the test. These are the periods of learning, its after the hardships that we are tested. It is after the these times that we need to show what we learned and how we have grown from our experiences, that is truly the test. I don't believe that Heavenly Father gives us "trials", I believe he gives us experiences and how we respond is what determines whether or not it is a "trial."
I am pretty sure I have mentioned this scripture in the past but it is truly one of my favorites. In Doctorine and Covenents 122:7-8 it says "And, if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.  The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?" How can we ask the Lord why we suffer when our Savior suffered far more than we ever could? He suffered so we don't have to, he will carry your burdens if you let him, don't let his sacrifice be in vain. Give him your burdens and your sorrows, he has beckoned us to do so over and over. It's ok to be sad, to be hurt, to be scared but I know that when I put my life in His hands, I am ok, and I am so thankful for that. 
Now get ready for it, I am going to use an Ozzy Osbourne song and talk about Jesus in the same paragraph. That's right, the Prince of Darkness and the Savior of the World. But I have to admit one of my favorite songs to listen to when things get crazy is "Lay your world on me." Now go listen to it!  (I even wanted it to be our wedding song but James nixed that idea... Probably my only wedding planning regret 😄) But I love it! Some of the lyrics are:

Give me your pain
Give me your anger
Let me be your rock
I can be the pillar of strength that you need
I'll help you keep it all together
It's better late than never
Lay your world on me
I can take the weight

We all laugh and we all cry
We all hurt the same inside
We all fall down and we lose faith in who we really are
But if we bend instead of break
The choice for us is to make it together
Lay your world on me

I know that when we rely on our Savior and his atonement we can be lifted up from any low. He can take the weight. 

And since I haven't already left all 2 of you avid readers with enough quotes, lyrics and scripture, I have one more for you. This is just a poem I wrote to share my feelings on the atonement and my love for my Savior and all he's done for me. Hopefully this Easter we can all remember what it is truly about. 

"In Gethsemane"
When my faith is being shaken and my spirit feeling weak. 
These are the moments I fall down to my knees.
 When the path ahead is rocky, and I feel lost in disbelief. 
I remember that this path was paved when my Savior died for me. 
When he suffered more than any hurt I could feel right now, 
it's easier to see the why, and stop asking how. 
How could the Lord forget, how could this happen to me? 
These are questions that were answered, in Gethsemane. 
As our Savior trembled, and bled from every pore. 
He knew it was our sorrow, he would suffer for. 
He knew that He was chosen, to save the world from sin 
and carry all our sorrows so we can be free again. 
He catches me when I stumble, he carries me when I'm weak. 
He comforts me when I feel alone and everything seems bleak. 
Because of his atonement, his selfless sacrifice. 
I can be made whole again when I feel I don't suffice. 
I have been chosen to walk a path that was made for me alone. 
And while I walk and find my way, my spirit He will hone. 
He will mold me and will shape me and guide me to the light. 
And as he tests my faith through trails, he is always by my side.
 I am strengthened by my Savior and all he does for me. 
I know His love only began in Gethsemane. 

Happy Easter!