Changes

2012 was a huge year for James and I. We finally became pregnant, we moved across the country from family, James started medical school, and we welcomed our first beautiful baby girl. It was a whirlwind of welcomed and greatly anticipated changes. We finally felt like we were acheiving the greatest goals we had set for ourselves. For Christmas James and I decided to fly back to Idaho to spend the holidays with our families. Since flights were cheaper during the week, I flew back a few days before James got out of school to save us a little money. Flying with a 2 month old for the first time all by myself was completely nerve racking but it went very well and made me feel a little silly for worrying so much. We were still very glad James was able to join us on the flight home though. It was when James arrived in Idaho that he told me he had been noticing more changes himself those past few days. He had been riding his bike to school a lot and he started feeling a little pain in his manly parts. That was when he told me he found some sort of mass. I immedieately thought of cancer but tried to be as positive as possible. I asked him if he thought he vericocele had gotten worse or what his thoughts were but he felt the same way I did. His vericocele had been on the left side, this was on his right, they felt completely different. He did his best to assure me that everything would be fine. It could be a lot of things and even if it was a tumor it could be noncancerous, he said. We did our best to forget about it during the holidays and decided that we would take care of it as soon as we got home. Deep down though we knew we had more changes ahead of us.