Twenty Four

After our miscarriage I was done. We had four eggs left but I didn't think I could bear any more heartbreak and disappointment. This time we opted not to roll into another cycle and took a break. I needed a break from all the injections, the doctor appointments, and the emotional roller coaster I was on. My birthday and the holidays were coming up soon and I wanted to enjoy them. We put IVF on the back burner and tried to move on for the time being. For now our plan was to try again around February or March 2012.
Thanksgiving came and went and soon after was my birthday. December 13th I turned 24. I was one year older and wiser and I was ready for 24 to be a good year, a great year. It didn't dissapoint. Day one, of year 24, my sister told me she was pregnant with her first baby. It was the first time in a long time that I was genuinely excited for someone else to be pregnant. I know that doesn't sound very nice, but honestly when you can't get pregnant and everyone around you seems like Fertile Mertyl, it's hard to be excited when everyday someone else tells you their pregnant. I was though, I was thrilled. I know she told me first so that I could process it and not be caught off gaurd when she announced it to everyone else, but I was elated and I couldn't wait for her to be a mom.
It made me want a baby even more though. I knew we wanted to take a break but I wanted our future neice or nephew to have a cousin. I wanted to experience the miracle of pregancy with my older sister, someone I could turn to for advice and help. So we decided to get back to the doctor and get ready for cycle number 3 after the new year.